How To Feel Less Uncomfortable During Family Photos

"Sorry in advance- we are so awkward in pictures!"

It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, there are just some days when being in front of the camera feels like the absolute last place you would like to be. For a good chunk of us those days come more often than others. I have heard time and time again “Just to warn you we are really awkward in pictures” or “Don’t worry if I’m not in a lot of these, we can just focus on the kids”. 

Family photo sessions in New England don’t make it any easier. The dry skin and cracked lips of winter rival the sweat drenched, sun-burn lined days of summer. But here is a little secret: Not one of those things will matter a bit to anyone looking at your photos as long as there is love and laughter present. 

I know, I know. Easier to say than to believe. And just because I say it doesn’t mean you are going to feel less awkward when I raise my camera. But I’m here to help.

Read on for five tips for feeling less awkward and getting those Instagram/photo album-worthy family photos.

Have a good why

If you are having photos taken it is most likely because you wanted to have them done. You reached out to a photographer, paid the session-fee, set time aside in your busy life, and made the effort to appear at your best for these photos. But why? Are you marking an important time in your family's lives? Do you want to remember your littles while they are still little? Or are you taking them because all the girls at work got theirs done so you feel like you should too?

Before you arrive at your session I want you to think about your why. Don’t think about the fact that some stranger is about to have you waltzing around your local park while people mill about. Think about the love that you want to see reflected on your face as you look down at your growing baby bump. Or how proud you are of yourself for finally graduating. Or what obstacles you needed to overcome just to hold your child in your arms and make him giggle. Let those feelings guide and calm you. 

Trust me I am just about as awkward as they come, so I totally get it. In fact my fiancé often has to tell me to “get the awkward out” before he can take any pictures of me during our vacations. So when it came time for our engagement photos I was skeptical to say the least. But I had a good why for being there. I wanted these photos to celebrate this next step we were taking in our lives and I love this guy- that’s what I wanted them to show. 

Let your photographer guide you

One of my all time favorite prompts for couples photos is “kiss with your teeth.” When the couple trusts me and leans in lips apart and teeth together the end product is this gorgeous image of two people with laughter on their lips about to come together for a kiss. When the couple doesn’t trust me and they think “this chick is insane. Kiss with our teeth? We must look so foolish right now..” it ends up looking like two people who ate bad sushi trying to end a first date. You can feel the discomfort. 

Trust me, I know that “kiss with your teeth” and “walk towards me like you're drunk” and “nuzzle in and smell her shoulder” all sound weird and strange and not at all like something you would want to have photographed. But the end products are just… *chef’s kiss*. There are specific movements and positions that we as photographers know are going to photograph well and we have had sessions upon sessions of practice to find ways to guide you to them naturally. Trust us. We got you.

Use movement to your advantage

For some reason when people get in front of a camera they have this sudden urge to freeze. I mean, we have all seen what happens when you’re caught mid-blink in a photo. It is…. Not cute. But the deer in the headlights, afraid for your life look? Well, that’s not great either. 

Using movement during a photo session is a great way to bring life to images and let go of some of that nervous energy. For example, let’s say that I have mom holding her four year old in her arms and dad standing next to them. He could either: A) stand like a statue and stare blankly at the camera while mom and son chat and giggle at each other, or B) Move his hand up and down mom’s arm or back while he kisses her shoulder or makes a goofy face to get his son to laugh. Simple, easy movements like this give the perception of connection and intimacy. 

Other movements to consider are running your fingers through your hair; brushing the hair out of your child’s/partner’s eyes; gently rocking back and forth while holding your baby; taking the hem of your dress and slowly swaying it along beside you. Your photographer should give you direction to do these things but if not just do what feels natural. What would you do if there wasn’t a camera in front of you? 

Don't Say Cheese

The days of sitting and posing while smiling widely at the camera are behind us. The era of candid photography has come. In other words- don’t say cheese. I have found that this is a tough one for parents to adjust to. For some reason no matter how many times I say “it’s okay if they don’t look at me” as soon as I lift my lens a parent is instructing a child to “look at the camera! Smile! Say cheese!” Sometimes it’s cute and we get a good shot. But most of the time what we end up with is that tortured, clenched-teeth little kid grimace that most people don’t want on their holiday cards. 

Instead let the moments unfold naturally. Ask your child to tell me (or whoever the photographer is) a joke. Or whisper a silly secret in their ear and then ask them to whisper it in their siblings ear. When children feel like they are being pressured to stare at a stranger and smile they are more often than not going to get frustrated quickly and want to be done with the whole thing before it even begins. But if they think they are getting to play a game and being praised for playing it they are going to want to do more and will give more genuine, comfortable reactions which will lead to those true smiles.

Fake It

When all else fails and you don’t know what else to do just throw your head back and fake laugh. Sometimes I will direct especially stiff and uncomfortable families to do this after every new position that I put them in. It’s not because I want to capture those big fake laughs (although I still will). It’s because nine times out of ten the fake laugh leads to a genuine one. There’s just something about the act of throwing your head back and letting out your loudest, most ridiculous guffaw that makes people of all ages giggle. 

And There You Have It

Five delicious tips for getting less uncomfortable in front of the camera. Remember these photos are for you. If you choose no one in the world has to see them besides you. So remember your why and what emotion you’re hoping to capture, trust your photographer, use movement and natural interaction, and when all else fails throw your head back and fake laugh until you dissolve into a fit of giggles. I promise- it’ll be worth it.

Sometimes this is enough to loosen the family up and we can move on to more natural interaction and sometimes we fake laugh our way through the whole session. It doesn’t matter. The result is the same- pure gold.